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Sarah. 20. Sophomore at UC Santa Cruz. Art History major. Democrat. Sagittarius. Likes Ewan McGregor, Lord of the Rings, Coldplay, baseball, pirates, pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain. Dislikes the Bush Junta, Dirty Dancing, intolerance, getting up early, and public speaking. More? AIM?


Listening: The Nails - 88 Lines About 44 Women
Reading: David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Quoting: "I don't think people die. I think they just go to department stores." - Andy Warhol

I wish I had a river I could skate away on
April 24, 2004 @ 1:17 a.m.

The rain ended, but other things do not. Today was the worst day I've had in quite awhile, capped off by sleeping in and missing the last class before a midterm, getting another parking ticket, and Steve thinking it's ok to wait ten minutes before a movie starts downtown to decide that he wants to go. The saddest thing about that is that he probably doesn't even realize I'm mad at him for that.

When you look back upon a relationship, and the bad moments outweigh the good, what does that mean? Does that mean it's something worth saving? I don't think I can answer that. I just know that even when we're just friends, Steve manages to make me feel worse than anyone has ever made me and that he doesn't even do it on purpose. Someone being mean to me on purpose, I can handle. But someone who doesn't even think of me enough to do anything purposefully is something else.

I hate this. I hate him. I hate this mess of a life. No job, no apartment, no boyfriend, a soon to be failed test, and I've taken up a habit I swore never to even touch. What is wrong with me these days when I'll do something completely out of character just to get back at a boy who I'm mostly invisible to anyway?

And to top it all off, I think I may be getting sick.

I'm just winning 'em all these days.

Yesterday / Tomorrow